Guess who's back
by I hate usernames
Summary: Teatimes back from the dead and is stalking a certain Susan Sto helit. This can only lead to disaster. Come on people, Teatime was way to good a character to kill of after one book.
1. Chapter 1

Guess who's back!

Chapter one

Susan Sto helit was seated at the bar in Biers. Try as she might to be normal and avoid places such as this she always ended up there. She had been spending more and more time there ever since the hole Hogswatch incident. This is what annoyed her the most. The minute her grandfather shows up she can't manage to be ordinary for more then two seconds with out turning invisible or accidentally walking though a wall.

And she was doing so well..

She decided it was time to be leaving. She had to go and see if Twyla and Gawain came across any monsters or other equally scary creatures. Although after the scene with mister Teatime anyone and everyone seems to be some monster or other.

She made her way to the door and out into the alleyway. It was deserted like it always was. That was the thing about the Biers. You could only find it if you were looking for it.

She wrapped her cloak tightly around her. It was only a week after Hogswatch and the weather only seemed to get colder

Out on the main street there were people running around trying to get to various places. Susan darted through them not knowing that some one was following her and had been doing so for the last few days.

TEATIMES POV

It always fascinated me how she could so easily slip through a crowed so big. Well, so can I but I've had years of training at the guild of Assassins. It did however annoy me that she didn't sense me. But then again she thinks I'm dead doesn't she.

As if I could be killed so easily. I mean, I am an Assassin after all. I'm trained not to die.

I should really pop round and see if she's willing to apologize. She did, in theory, kill me. Something like that isn't just insulting. It's out right hurtful. Then again she might not be to pleased to see me. The look on her face would be wroth it though. Yes, I'll go and see her the next time she's in the Biers.

Its not as if I want to kill her. If I wanted to do that I would have done it a long time ago. Perhaps we could even be friends.

Although it usually comes down to blackmailing some god or other. In this case the god of wine about a certain drunken incident.

(A/N This is probably going to turn into a Susan/Teatime pairing. Then again you never know. R&R)


	2. Chapter 2

-1 Chapter two

It was noon when Susan brought Twyla and Gawain to the park. The morning air promised relatively good weather although it was still very cold. The children didn't seem to mind. Being children they very rarely noticed things such as how cold it was so long as they were out side. Susan put this down to them having not fully developed a body thermometer.

She was idly reading a book when she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She got the same tingling sensation that you get when some one is watching you. She quickly pushed the feeling to the back of her mind. It was probably just some passer by staring at her hair. Its not as if white hair with a black streak going through it was that common.

A few meters behind her mister Teatime was watching her attentively. It was strangely entertaining watching Susan, he thought to himself. She was the first person he had come across that wasn't unbelievably dull.

He was contemplating whether to go over and tell her he was alive but decided against it. She might get angry at him for frightening the children. They did after all see the poker go straight him.

"Perhaps I should get her a present" he thought and was immediately surprised at his own thought. He had never given anyone a present before and didn't know where this thought had come from.

"Still" he mused. "I could just get her something as a truce. She was after all Deaths granddaughter. And very beautifully" he added sheepishly.

There was a man selling roses in a cart just around the corner. Teatime made his decision and approached the cart.

"hallo good sir, what will it be" said the flower sales man.

Teatime looked at the roses unimpressed. They had all sorts of colours but non of them seemed to be right. He couldn't picture Susan holding a pink, yellow, red or white rose.

"Have you got a black one perhaps" said Jonathan in his usual schoolboy voice.

" Sorry sir but we only sell them one's to the big spending customers"

Teatime sighed. Why did it always have to be the hard way with sales people.

He darted up behind him and pressed a very sharp piece of glass into his back being careful not to stab him.

"I'll tell you what" whispered the Assassin "You get me that rose and I may actually spare your life."

"Er…right you are sir. I'll get that for you right away." The sales man reached into a box a brought out a single black rose.

"Thank you" said teatime brightly taking the flower from him and taking the glass away from his back. He would of killed him but Susan was just around the corner. He didn't want her finding out about him being alive. Yet. And killing people usually made a scene.

He examined the rose carefully. Yes he thought. This will do nicely.

(A/N did you know there was such thing as a black rose because I sure as hell didn't. Feel free to R/R (hint hint wink wink))


	3. Chapter 3

-1 Chapter three

Susan walked down the snow covered ally that led to Biers. She was going more out of habit then actually wanting to go there. She and Igor had become quit good friends over the last week or so. It was nice to be in the company of some one as strange as herself without having to beat the living day lights out of them even if the conversation usually lasted a total of two sentences. Biers wasn't exactly a conversation friendly pub.

"The usual mith" said Igor with his usual lisp as Susan approached the bar.

The hooded figure just nodded in response and took the money out of her pocket and put it on the counter top. "Thank you" she said when he placed the glass in front of her and gathered up the coins.

At a table at the back of the room Jonathon Teatime watched as the dark cloaked person sitting at the bar took down her hood and reviled white hair with a single black streak going through it neatly tide back in a bun.

A boyish grin spread across his face. He had been reading one of those romance novels that adolescent love sick girls always read and found that giving some one a rose in a dark mysterious bar was always a good first move.

He walked slowly over to the bar and quietly took a seat next to her. So quietly in fact that it wasn't until he leaned over and whispered in her ear that she noticed he was there.

"Hallo Susan" said Teatime in a hushed school boy voice. "I've missed you."

Susan became extremely still. There was only one person she knew who had a creepily boyish voice like that. But he was dead, she should know; she was the one who killed him.

She slowly turned around to face the owner of the voice. The glass she was holding slipped from her hand as she confirmed that it was in fact Jonathan Teatime. There was a small crash as the glass hit the ground.

"You should really be more careful" said the Assassin looking around fully aware that the hole pub was now staring at them.

Gathering herself, Susan grabbed Teatime's hand and dragged him out side to the ally with surprising ease. She had expected him to try and resist or something.

"What are you doing" hissed Susan "your dead. People do not come back from the dead, I of all people know that." She didn't appear to be talking to Teatime anymore but more to herself.

"Yet here I am" he giggled like a lunatic. "I got you a rose." He added handing over the black flower.

Susan took it from him carefully, expecting it to blow into a million pieces. There was an uncomfortable silence until Jonathan finally spoke.

"I've been watching you" he said.

"Look'" said Susan " I don't know how you got back from the dead but you are going to leave me alone. You can just go back to the guild of Assassins, I have just gotten my life back on track over the Hogswatch fresco and I don't need anymore members of the circus showing up" she then turned on her heals and walked briskly out of the ally

Well, thought Teatime. It appears that I'm going to have to be a bit more forceful the next time.

(A/N the more you review the more I update. Thanks to Erebos, Booklover and blonde squirrel. My three first reviewers. You rock!!!!!!!!)


	4. Chapter 4

-1 Chapter two

Susan paced up and down the length of her room in a frenzy of thought. Bumping into Teatime in Biers had been extremely unsettling. It wasn't just the fact that he was alive, although that wasn't exactly a reassuring thought. It was, what had he said, that he had been following her.

She sat down at the end of her bed and rubbed her forehead. "Great." she thought "Now I have an Assassin stalking me."

TEATIME'S POV:

It had been four hours since the scene in Biers and Jonathan was quietly sneaking into the house where Susan lived. He was thinking about straight forward it had been to come back from the dead. It was just a matter of will power.

After he had been killed his soul was sent to the Guild if Assassins castle to haunt it. Granted, it had taken him a good twenty four hours and a lot of energy to get out the building but after that all he had to do was break into the unseen university and rob a single strand of blue magic. Then of course there was the matter of finding his body which wasn't that difficult as Death had merely dumped it in a near by trash can. Then all he had to do was connect the two using the magical rope. After a couple of hours of getting his limbs to work he was as good as new.

"Really" he thought to himself as he stealthily moved through the halls, checking every room to see which one was Susan's. "I don't see why more people don't do it."

He soon found what he was looking for. Susan was lying on top of her bed with a book resting on her chest. It appeared that she had fallen to sleep with out getting changed into her night dress.

On the table next to her bed was the Black rose that Teatime had given her. Jonathan looked at it with the pride that young children get when the do well in a spelling test.

Teatime peered down at her and cocked his head to the side. He put his hand out as if to touch her face but suddenly her eyes shot open. He quickly covered her mouth with his hand and pulled her up from the bed.

"Hi" said the Assassin brightly. "Long time no see."

Like a shot, the hand that had been covering her mouth hit a nerve in her neck and she passed out.

Like he had never been there, Jonathan Teatime darted of into the night with Susan Sto-Helit in his arms.

(A/N Soooooooooooooo I hope that I have given the hole how did Teatime come back from the dead question a good enough answer. That was pretty much all I could come up with. I would also like to say sorry if there are any spelling mistakes. I think it's actually the fact that I can't type properly then the fact that I can't spell. I live in Ireland and, in my school at any rate, the teachers are more worried about getting us through our junior cert and leaving cert then making sure we can type or not. As always reviews are more then welcome.)


	5. Chapter 5

-1 Chapter five

Teatime laid Susan onto the bed in the small room he was staying in. Now that he had her here he wasn't sure why he had taken her in the first place. H was contemplating to just kill her but decided against it. He had gone to too much trouble to get her here to simply kill her.

Jonathan turned around and started going through a small box that was on the floor. He was looking for one of his knives just encase Susan tried anything clever.

As he was going through the box Susan was slowly sitting up in the bed. She could faintly remember what had happened but didn't know where she was. He got out of the bed and suddenly stopped when she saw Teatime at the other side of the room going through a box obviously looking for something.

She looked franticly around the room trying to find something that she could use to hit him or otherwise meme him with. Instead she saw the door and decided to just try and make a run for it.

"The doors locked" came the familiar boyish voice of Jonathan Teatime. As if out of nowhere he was standing right next to Susan. "So you would only be wasting your time".

Automatically the gothic governesses hand shot up to hit the Assassin in the face but was stopped when his hand caught hers in an iron grip.

"Ah ah ah" said Jonathan waging his finger at her as if talking to a misbehaving child. "That's not very nice."

"What do you want" said Susan glaring at her captive.

"I was thinking that maybe you would like to go for a midnight stroll." Said the assassin, letting go of her hand and walking over to unlock the door. As he held the door open he offered Susan his arm.

Grudgingly, she took it and they walked down two flights of stairs. Outside she found that she recognized the area but wasn't aware where they were.

"It's oh so dull being dead" said Teatime trying to make conversation. "No one to talk to, of coarse most people lose their minds after dieing. Its quit tedious being around insane people all the time."

"Mm" said Susan thinking that dieing hadn't done his mental health any good.

There was a long uncomfortable silence.

"This is ridicules" said Susan at last. "Why are you doing this? How did you come back from the dead? W……..

Before she could through more questions at him, Teatime had closed her mouth by kissing her. It wasn't a long passionate kiss but just a quick peck on the lips.

Susan took a few steps away from him with a look of complete shock on her face before turning around and running down the street.

Well, thought Jonathan to himself. I feel that went rather well.

(A/N big thanks to big cat, the girl with the quill pen, melgar, blonde squirrel, insanity inside, erebos and booklover for reviewing. Go you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)


	6. Chapter 6

-1 Chapter six

After half an hour of walking aimlessly around dark allies and foreboding streets, Susan finally admitted to herself that she was well and truly lost. "Lost Susan?" said a voice behind her. She spun round and saw Albert sitting on a throw out box.

"Albert, what are you doing here?" Susan asked. "Hmm good question. What would deaths servant be doing in a back alley like this? Talking to his granddaughter. Who happens to be getting cosy with a certain resurrected assassin. You know the one, the guy with a glass eye, curly blonde hair, giggly school boy attitude. Seen him?"

"Assassin" Susan grunted. "Wha?" Albert asked "Assassin, with a capital A" "Euhhhh, getting a bit defensive of your boyfriend I see. How romantic. Capital A what nonsense" Albert yawned.

"Well I thought you were supposed to die when you came back if I am not gravely mistaken" she snapped "So let me get this strait, the Hogswatch Incident (something worthy of capital letters) isn't good enough for you? I wouldn't mind but you're getting chummy with someone who came back to life via, and I quote " After he had been killed his soul was sent to the Guild if Assassins castle to haunt it. Granted, it had taken him a good twenty four hours and a lot of energy to get out the building but after that all he had to do was break into the unseen university and rob a single strand of blue magic. Then of course there was the matter of finding his body which wasn't that difficult as Death had merely dumped it in a near by trash can. Then all he had to do was connect the two using the magical rope. After a couple of hours of getting his limbs to work he was as good as new." are you bloody kidding me?"

"Point taken" Susan said tersely. "So why are you here?" Albert smiled. Susan didn't like it one bit "What my charming character and excellent sense of humour not good enough for you?" Albert said pretending to be hurt "No, Albert can't just pop round for a visit he must be on business" Susan interrupted "Well, you would die" Albert grinned "Touché. To be honest I'm just the welcome wagon. You see Death'll be around in the mourning to collect mister Teatime (Resurrections a bastard when it comes to paperwork, that's why he's not here now) So he sent me to give you the heads up. Anyway I best be off. Things to do, people to meet yadda yadda yadda.

Susan stood there stunned. How should she feel right now? Glad or disappointed? _Or sad _said a voice at the back of her head. "No" she thought out loud. "I should be glad to be free of that annoying, murderous idiot once and for all" _Then why aren't you? _said the voice. Susan struggled to comprehend her feelings. She had never paid much attention to men and they hadn't exactly been lining up to woo her either. But Teatime he was… different?

TEATIMES POV

Teatime had watched Susan for quite some time now. He had watched the whole thing from a nearby rooftop "Well I'd best prepare for Deaths arrival. After all, he comes for every one."

(A/N hay everyone hope you enjoyed the new chapter. I got a few ideas from my brother Ugainius (also on fan fiction.) He………../ Slap smack pow kick……. gunshot!!!!!!!!!

Ugainius - WHAT DO YOU MEAN A"FEW IDEAS" I WROTE THIS CHAPTER WOMAN!

I hate usernames - Oncontere I wrote the whole first sentence

Ugainius - 'kick' stay down! Ahem, anyway be sure to check out some of my works (use search, penname). In other news IHU won't be updating in awhile just to let you know.

I hate usernames - Can't……. Feel……. Organs…….

Ugainius - GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)


	7. Chapter 7

-1 Chapter seven

Teatime was back in the run down apartment that he was renting and thinking up of a plain to some how escape Death. Again. From their last encounter it was obvious that Death was a very stubborn and single minded fellow. Traits that his granddaughter seemed to have inherited.

That was when an idea hit him. Death was rather fond of his granddaughter, wasn't he? All Jonathan had to do was momentarily make it look like Susan was in some form of danger and make a deal with him in return for his granddaughters safety.

Of coarse he wouldn't put her in any real danger. Teatime had developed quit a liking towards her. He found her charmingly cynical and her dry sense of humour rather appealing. How her stray bits of hair escaped her neat bun when she gave out to the children for misbehaving and the way she always altered stories by adding her own commentary when reading to the children.

Its amazing what you learn by just watching some one.

SUSAN'S P.O.V

After a long time spent walking around, Susan finally found her way back to the house. She mage herself invisible and quietly lat herself in through the front door. Everyone was already asleep.

The more she thought about the nights events the angrier she became. Who did Teatime and Albert think they were? Trying to drag her back into the world she had tried so desperately to get away from. Well they could both just bugger of for all she cared.

She then got changed out of her dress and went to bed where she fell into a dreamless sleep.

DEATH'S P.O.V

"HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO SUSAN YET ALBERT"

"Have done master" said Albert. "But she weren't all to pleased to see me"

"SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT"

"What would that be master. Besides the obvious I mean" he said referring to the Assassin coming back from the dead situation.

SUSAN SEEMS TO BE QUT ENJOYING MISTER THE-AH-TIM-EHS ATTENTION.

"Understandably" said Albert "you see, the only real attention she's ever got from a gentleman was from what's his name? Imp? Anyway , she must find it quit flattering to be given so much attention"

WHY DEOS SHE NOT JUST CATCH THE EYE OF SOME OTHER GENTLEMEN.

Albert sighed, this was a delicate subject. "You see master, she's not what you would call an affectionate girl is our Susan. Men usually look for some one who can play the piano rather then some one who can take down any monster or boogieman who is unfortunate to cross her path with a poker."

BUT……..Death tried to think of one of her good traits. SHE HAS HAD AN EDUCATION.

"Witch means that she's smart" said Albert knowingly. "Men find that sort of thing intimidating."

I STILL DO NOT APPROVE. I MUST FIND MISTER THE-AH-TIM-EH AT ONCE.

Death then left his domain to get binky.

"Well this is all going to end in tears" said Albert.

(A/N My god is there an actual plot starting to form???????????????.. The more you review the more I update!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I don't own the discworld books, Terry Pratchett does.


	8. Chapter 8

-1 CHAPTER EIGHT

Susan woke up the next morning with one thing on her mind. The incident with the night before. She wasn't entirely sure what she should do about it. There wasn't much she _could_do about it. Her grandfather was coming for Teatime today so she would be free from the curly haired Assassin once and for all. Death would be able to tie up a loss end and the guild of Assassins would be rid of the murdering psychopath that was ruining their impeccable name. Everybody wins….

Susan was not happy with this though. It felt far to much like her grandfather was trying to rescue her, and she for one was not going to sit back and let herself get rescued without putting up a fight for herself.

She sighed, no matter what she did it was down to her grandfather to take care of this one. She didn't know where Teatime was and anyway, she's spent most of her time trying to avoid situations such as this and it would seem very hypocritical of her to go looking for one know. She would just have to wait and see how everything would work out.

After she made her bed and changed into a sensible black dress she went to see if Gawain and Twyla were up.

Well, tat was the plain until a far to familiar hand grabbed her from behind and covered her mouth.

"Why, hallo Susan." Said Jonathan Teatime. "We really _must _stop meeting like this.

He quickly hit a nerve on her neck and carried her of like she didn't weigh a thing.

DEATH'S P.O.V

Death swooped down on the back of his trusted hoarse binky to the main street in front of were Teatime was keeping Susan. The building was worn and decrepit looking and radiated the feeling that you get when something hasn't been used in quit some time.

"Cheerful place isn't it" said Albert.

COME. WE MUST SAVE SUSAN

"Are you sure you're the right man for the job? I mean, well…"

NONE THE LESS, SUSAN IS IN NEED OF SAVEING AND AT PRESENT HEROS ARE IN SHORT SUPPLY.

"All the same master, the get-up is a bit unsuited."

ENOUGH ALBERT. THIS IS WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE.

In the building, Death walked silently up the stairs to where Teatime and Susan were. The dark governess lay lifeless on the bed while Jonathan sat at a table on the opposite side of the room.

HALLO MISTER THE-AH-TIM-EH. YOUR TIME HAS COME, ER……….AGAIN.

**WE DON'T THINK SO**. The Auditors appeared before them.

"Lucy's pregnant and doesn't know who the father is?! Say it ain't so!!" chimed in Albert.

Ignoring the comment, the clocked figures continued.** AFTER A MEETING WITH THE CONNCEL OF AUDITORS IT HAS BEEN DEICIDED THAT, DUE TO CERCUMSTANCES A ONE MISTER THE-AH-TIM-EH HAS BEEN GRANTED APPROVAL TO CUNTINUE OUT THE LIVING OF HIS LIFE. THAT IS ALL. **The three shadows disappeared

"Well, I didn't see that coming." commented Albert.

"Quit convenient, it appears that you no longer have any business to attend to here." Said Teatime cheerfully, happy with the turn of events.

Death looked at Susan's sleeping form and again at Jonathan.

THIS IS NOT OVER YET.

The personification of Death turned around and headed out side to fetch Binky.

"Sooooooooo, that went well. Where are we going now?"

TO PAY A VISIT TO GRANNY WEATHERWAX AND NANNY OGG.

(A/N Sorry I haven't updated in a while but I've had end of year exams. reveiw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**HAPPY SUMMER HOLIDAYS EVRYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	9. Chapter 9

-1 Chapter nine

DEATH P.O.V

"Master, not to sound cynical, but _why _are we going to ask two old hags for help to save your granddaughter? I mean you are Death and everything" asked Albert as he and death flew on the back of Binky over the millions of humans below.

BECAUSE I CAN NO LONGER INTERFERE. MISTER THE-AH-TIM-EH IS NOT SCHEDULED TO DIE ANYTIME SOON.

"We can sort out that problem fairly sharpish if you catch my drift."

ALBERT, I DO NOT CONDOLE MURDER.

"Well, if I've guessed correctly, then him being dead is going to be crucial to the equation anyway………."

HMMMMMMM

There was an award pause.

"Are we nearly there yet?" asked Albert trying to break the silence.

NOT FAR NOW…….

TEATIME P.O.V

Teatime was sitting at the edge of the bed and was curiously looking down at Susan. He couldn't help but note that her skin was remarkably clear. He carefully pushed a stray piece of hair of her face, afraid that his very touch would somehow scar her for life.

Jonathan took out and looked nervously at his pocket watch. She should have woken up by now. He leaned over her and gently shook her shoulder. Her eyelids fluttered. She opened her mouth to scream but Teatime's hand instantly shot up to over it.

"Don't scream please. It is oh so very tedious." Jonathan removed his hand slowly and got up of the bed. Susan, not wanting to be the usual damsel in distress started looking for something to kill him with. Failing this she made her self invisible.

Well, this was the plan, but she stayed unnaturally solid.

"Where are we?" asked Susan. Not, as you can imagine, liking the situation one bit.

"We're in an old wizards house. He had a terrible fear of death and put all sorts of curses and spells to try and stop him. It appears that some of them actually worked. Not well enough to stop death _himself,_ but well enough to stop you using your powers." Teatime said this with the glee of a child who has lied and gotten away with it.

Susan stared at him for a long time, digesting what he had just said. If what he was saying is true, and all evidence was pointing in favour, then she was completely at his mercy.

The Assassin lead her over to the table at the far side of the room and sat her down at one end while he took the other.

"Now then" said Teatime. "Why don't you tell me about yourself"

Susan put her head in her hands. This is going to be good………………………………...

(A/N At this point my muse decided to take a holiday. So I am now suffering from a sever case of writers block. So if anyone one wants to give me some advice feel free.

Throughout the writing of this chapter Ugainius has been shouting :

Why did the chicken cross the road?

_**TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

_**TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

_**TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

And

**I. EAT. BABIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS.!.!.!.!.!.!.**

IHU: Twitch twitch. Kills Ugainius


	10. Chapter 10

-1 Chapter ten

Susan was slumped on her chair and was looking extremely bored. Teatime had been talking to her for the last two hours, or rather he was talking at her. After a vain attempt at asking her questions about her self he had opted to start talking about himself.

So he talked….

And talked…..

And talked.

It wasn't the ordinary boring small talk about the weather ether. It was the excruciatingly dull talk about thing that the speaker thinks is interesting but the listener finds completely uninteresting.

At the moment, Jonathon was describing in great detail the reason for his glass eye. He said that when he was born his real eye was completely blind. When he was ten he decided that it was pointless having a useless eye so he gouged it out. He went on to describe the way he removed said eye. Susan, at this point, tuned out. How to take your own eye out was not a piece of information she wanted to know.

"Teatime," said Susan straightening up "do you always torture people before you kill them? Could you not just make it quick and painless?"

Jonathan tilted his head to the side and frowned. This was not how things were supposed to go. What was supposed to happen was that Susan was to fall for him. Then again, he always did relish a challenge.

Susan was standing up now and pacing up and down the room. She was ranting and raving about the injustice of being dragged back into the world she tried so hard to escape from.

Teatime started to notice how full her lips were.

"Its not as though I _asked_ to be Deaths granddaughter…….."

Her hair is quit an interesting shade of white…….

"Its bad enough being mistaken for the tooth fairy……………….."

I wonder what it would be like to kiss her?

"And further more……………"

Susan was cut of suddenly when Teatime, as quick as a flash, stood up and kissed her. Unlike the one outside Biers, this one was deep and passionate. When he finally pulled away Susan smacked him across the face.

"You're a good kisser. Would you like to get something to eat?" said Teatime as if nothing had happened.

Susan sighed and smacked her head agenised the wall. Some people just couldn't take a hint.

(A/N Sorry I haven't updated but I've been on holiday. REVIEW)


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